Nine Nations In A Closet
by TotallyRandomAuthor
Summary: Nine countries are trapped in a small cramped closet. How do they get out? Who's the culprit that locked them in? Rated T because of Romano's potty mouth.


**A/N: I was super bored. I just chose characters that popped into my head, and decided to make some fic. If you're wondering the characters are: Romano, Japan, Spain, Prussia, Hungary, Norway, Korea, France, and Italy.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia. Obviously not. Why would the creator of Hetalia make a fanfiction if he can make it canon?**

* * *

"Move your elbow out of my face, dammit!"

"Oh, dear, I'm very sorry, Romano-san."

"Now, now, Roma, you shouldn't talk that way to Japan."

"Shut up, Spain! Go die, you bastard!"

"Kesesese... Someone's getting mad..."

"Oh great, Prussia's here? If only this place wasn't so dark and cramped, then I'd get to hit him with my frying pan..."

"... How exactly did we end up in this closet?"

"I think we were knocked out and placed in this closet, Norway-san."

"Wow... There's people that I never expected to be here... Must... resist... the... urge... to... grope... breasts..."

"Oh my God. Stay away from me, Korea. I have a frying pan."

"Onhonhonhon~ You do know that it's impossible to hit anyone here in this dark and cramped space, right?"

"GAH! That French bastard is here too?"

"I'm surprised you haven't noticed my sexy air in the closet."

"Sexy? The only air you give off is a rapist air, you bastard." *

"Ugh! How rude!"

"Ve? Where am I?"

"Oh, Itaria. You're awake."

"V-Veneziano? How much people are in this closet?"

"W-We're in a closet? B-But I wanted to go make pas- EEK!"

"Oh shit, what the hell happened?"

"Hey, so not awesome! You hit my face with my elbow!"

"Roma, you need to try and strain from moving too much..."

"S-Sorry. Anyways, what happened, Veneziano?"

"Ve... I'm okay. I think someone groped my chest."

"KOREA!"

"I'm sorry! I couldn't help myself!"

"Korea, you bastard! If you touch my brother, I swear, I will KILL you."

"Would you mind if I groped your breasts, then?"

"What? FUCK NO."

"Why am I in a closet full of weird people..."

"Weird? I do hope that you didn't call me weird, Norway. Because I'm _awesome._"

"You? Awesome? If anything, you're a douche."

"You and that prissy aristocrat can't handle my awesomeness!"

"You know what? You should know that awesomeness originated from me."

"That's just ridiculous. If anything, _I _invented awesomeness. Because I'm awesome."

"...You know, can we just stop debating about 'awesomeness' and find a way out of this closet?"

"Norway's right. We should look for a way to get out. Leave it to me! Escaping closets originated from Korea! Now where's the door?"

"Ah! You slapped me!"

"Oh, I'm sorry Spain. Where's the door?!"

"It's next to me... I can feel the door handle..."

"I can't move over... It's too cramped!"

"So much for 'escaping closets originated from you', you bastard."

"You know, you're in the range for me to grope your breasts, right?"

"DON'T TOUCH ME, YOU FUCKING BASTARD."

"Roma, please calm down. We need to get out. Francis, is the door unlocked?"

"Hmmm... No, it's locked."

"How the hell do we get out?"

"If we never find a way out and we starve and die, that would be _so_ unawesome."

"B-But I don't want to die! UWAAAHH! I want to make pasta!"

"Now look what you did! You made Italy cry! You should be glad we're in a closet, because I would've whacked you with my frying pan!"

"You wouldn't DARE hit me."

"Oh yeah? Once we get out, I'm going to knock you out unconscious!"

"...Hey everyone... I think I'm handcuffed to someone..."

"R-Really, Norway-sa- Oh, I think you're handcuffed to me..."

"HAHAHA! JAPAN GOT HANDCUFFED TO NORWAY!"

"That's not funny, Korea. I mean I do think that it's kinda cute, but still."

"Ugh. You and your yaoi. Don't bring it in this closet. It's so unawesome."

"It's not yaoi. It's called shonen-ai."

"I don't see a difference."

"There is a difference! Yaoi-"

"Guys, we should just find a way out of this closet..."

"Spain-san is right. We should look around for anything to unlock the door."

"Ve... Oh! I think I found something!"

"What is it?"

"It feels like some sort of chain..."

"I think you're pulling on the handcuffs, Itaria..."

"O-Oh! I'm sorry!"

"You know, we could always try breaking down the door..."

"That's a HORRIBLE idea, Korea. Some people could get hurt in the process."

"Oh? I never knew that you cared for anyone, Prussia."

"Of course I do! That makes me even more awesome!"

"Or you could've locked us inside and decided to lock yourself in too so you would be cleared from suspicion..."

"Wait, are you suspecting that I locked all of you guys inside, Hungary?"

"You're the type that would do it!"

"As if! I wouldn't lock myself in a closet with a whole bunch of people, especially one with you in it! That's unawesome!"

"Calm down, _tout le monde_. We need to find a way to get out."

"Yes, and we keep on getting off topic here! How can we get out of here if all of you won't cooperate?"

"Spain's right. And I want to get out of these handcuffs."

"What kind of bastard would lock us in here?!"

"Some dumb person... Hey wait, now that I think of it, I think America's the one that did it."

"Are you sure, Korea? Couldn't it have been someone else besides America-san?"

"Well, I do remember hearing him laughing that laugh of his... I didn't see him, but I heard him..."

"THAT BASTARD! I'M GOING TO KILL HIM WHEN WE GET OUT!"

"Roma! Calm down! You hit my face!"

"Yeah! You hit mine too! So not awesome!"

"Hey, let go of me!"

"Fratello, calm down!"

"S-Sorry... EEK! Stop groping me, Korea! You bastard!"

"Well, that seemed to calm you down a bit... Now we should look for something that can bring down the door, or possibly unlock it..."

"Can you let go of my chest first, bastard?"

"Fine... Hey! I just realized that I have some firecrackers with me! Do you think we could blow down the door?"

"What? Why do you have _firecrackers_ with you, Korea?"

"Because firecrackers originated from me, Norway! HA!"

"Hahahaha... Very fun- Wait, you don't plan to blow down the door, right?"

"Not until I find a match or lighter!"

"Oh fuck... Someone stop this bastard..."

"I REGRET NOTHING!"

"No. Nononononono... I do not want you blowing up the door! My beautiful face is going to get hurt and ruined!"

"Oh hey, I have a lighter with me! I'm so lucky!"

"FUCK."

"I say the ones that are closest to the door should move back!"

"No. You will _not _blow down the door."

"Actually, I'm being serious. Now move back."

"How can anyone move back?! Bastard! This place is so damned cramped!"

"Well then, I guess we'll all suffer from the burns- OW! Crap! I dropped my lighter! Who slapped my hand?!"

"I did. No one wants to get burnt."

"Japan! This was the only way to escape!"

"There's other ways to escape too, you know. Let's not be so hasty."

"I agree with Japan. Maybe I could break down the door with my frying pan..."

"NO WAY! It's way to cramped in here! And you'll probably end up hitting me and my awesomeness!"

"I wouldn't mind hitting you or France, you know..."

"UGH! You'll ruin my beautiful face!"

"You are so _unawesome._"

"Okay! I'm going to try kicking down the door then!"

"There's no space, bastard! Oh wait, I think I can shoot down the door... I have a gun with me..."

"No! You'll end up shooting my beautiful face! Plus, it's too dark to see anything!"

"Well, Japan does have Korea's lighter... We can use that! Just hold it near the door and I'll be able to see the doorknob and shoot it!"

"Hmmm... It doesn't seem like a bad idea, but we have to be careful. I'll hold the lighter near the door for you, Romano-san."

"Thanks!"

"Wait, you are not going to shoot down the door. No. Nononononono!"

"I suggest you move out of the way, France!"

"_Dieu aie pitié de moi_..."

* * *

"And that makes me the he-" _BANG!_

America frowned. Was that a gunshot? The other nations looked around curiously from their seats. It seemed to be coming from the floor above them.

_BANG! _Another gunshot could be heard. America frowned again, but then he was hit with realization. _Oh yeah! The people in the closet! It seems like they finally woke up! Man, I should've taken away Romano's gun away when I had the chance!_

The meeting room began to stir, and nations began to be whispering among one another. More gunshots followed, until it finally got quiet. _Did they give up?_ America thought. Oh, how wrong he was.

The door burst open, to reveal Romano, Italy, Prussia, Spain, France, Hungary, Korea, Japan, and Norway, with the latter handcuffed with Japan. _Oh. They escaped._ America felt disappointed in himself. He planned to handcuff all of them together, but because he was running out of time, he couldn't do so. He didn't plan to lock them in the closet forever. He just wanted to lock them inside and let them out at the end of the day. It was kind of mean, but he just wanted to prank people for fun because he was bored.

"AMERICA!" Romano said angrily, getting out his gun.

_Oh fuck. How did he even-SHIT!_

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**A/N: I'm not really happy with the ending... Well, actually I wasn't happy with the whole thing... TT_TT This didn't really take me a long time to make. And yeah, America's the culprit. Sorry, America fans... Anyways, I'm not sure about the French, because I used Google translate. And I hope you can tell who is who... If you can't, I'm sorry...**

**Translations: **

**_tout le monde -_ everyone**

**_Dieu aie pitié de moi_ - God have mercy on me  
**

*** Sorry if you don't like France rape jokes. I personally don't like them either, it's just that I think Romano would say that about France. So yeah. Sorry again.**


End file.
